What Do You Actually Want?

Knowing what you don't want is not the same as knowing what you do want.

“I don't want this job.”

“I don't want to keep arguing.”

“I don't want to feel this way anymore.”

Those statements tell you something important. But they don't tell you where you're going.

For this exercise, resist the urge to immediately figure out what is realistic.

Start here:

If I could change this situation, what would I want instead?

Then get more specific:

What would be different in my day-to-day life?

What would I be doing more of?

What would I be doing less of?

How would I know things had actually improved?

Now look at what you wrote.

Which things require someone else to change?

Which things depend primarily on choices you can make?

That distinction matters.

You cannot build a workable plan around somebody becoming the person you wish they would become. You can decide what you want, what you are willing to ask for, what you are willing to accept, and what you will do if nothing changes.

Finish this sentence:

What I want is __________, and the part of that I can actually influence is __________.

Ready to take the next step?
If this exercise helped you recognize something you want to change, individual or couples coaching can help you turn that insight into action. Request a free consultation.